About
My true biography, as transcribed by Andy Khouri, circa 2001:
Joe — or “Joe Sizzle,” as he is known — actually created the internet. He explained this to me in a very clear, unslurred voice, and he did so for many hours. I honestly did not have the mental capacity to grasp exactly how he created the internet, but trust me, he did. It’s his, and we all owe him a little piece of our souls. I hope that by honoring him here, he will forgive me for my sins and allow me to continue using (abusing?) his property. Before Joe created the internet, he was a regular little kid in 1950s Colombia, riding his scooter around town with a slingshot in his pocket and a twinkle in his eye. On October 25th, 1955, Joe was struck by lightning. He survived, and there was absolutely no change in his body, behaviour or in his thinking. On October 25th, 1956, Joe slipped in the shower and hit his head on the toilet seat and lapsed into a coma for forty years. On October 25th, 1996, Joe woke up with the idea for the internet, even though by then it had already been created. It’s a real shame. Today Joe lives in Connecticut with his girlfriend Andi and lots of comic books.
Alternate ending biography:
Stuff to think about:
“Science fiction makes the implausible possible, while science fantasy makes the impossible plausible.” — Rod Serling.
“Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all.” — Issac Aasimov.
Contacting me: click here.
