Joe Szilagyi

It was at a preview screening in Seattle at Pacific Place on Monday night. The crowd was oddly quiet and relaxed before the film, which was weird, as most of the promotion was done via local comic book stores for this particular screening. During the very advance preview for Zombieland that we saw there, the crowd was really amped up and rowdy; by the time the opening chords of For Whom The Bell Tolls hit at the opening credits the place nearly flipped out. The KICK-ASS opening is the trailer scene of the guy flying off the side of the building in New York City–when that scene finished, the crowd DID go nuts, and it didn’t stop whooping and cheering the rest of the way. I think the crowd–for whatever reason–either had no idea what KICK-ASS was really going to be like or had never touched Mark Millar and John Romita Jr.’s comic book. We had, we’d seen the trailers, and were waiting for all hell to break loose, and holy shit does it.

Minor spoilers ahoy:

The movie is much, much funnier than the trailer gives any clue it would be, and it’s much, much funnier than the comic book. Some bits of the comic are nearly perfect reproductions of the film. KICK-ASS and the car after his first superhero incident and his superhero public reveal in the camera phone video scene in particular. That scene from the trailers (“I’M KICK-ASS!”) was done INCREDIBLY well and a near perfect example of how to show a character transformation and origin in one go on-screen–it was thrilling and the single best scene in the film (second best is the hilarious Ennio Morricone bit).

Yes, the violence was at times totally absurd, but that was sort of the point–over the top and brutal violence is really the only weapon a “real life” superhero would have. No “Spider-Sense”, no Superman-style bouncing bullets off of your chest. You’d have to beat the holy hell out of someone–or shoot them–before the same happened to you. You’d get the tar beat out of you. Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale alluded to this in a few scenes in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, but in that fantasy Batman has the world’s most cutting-edge armor, the world’s greatest ninja training, he’s the most driven and single-focused crime fighter of them all… and he’s still a battered mess of bruises and stitches. A normal person, trying to fight crime? It would be straight up kill-or-be-killed. Beat them rotten before they knife you.

Even when Kick-Ass does kick ass in that “I’M KICK-ASS!” scene, he gets his ass completely kicked at the same time. He’s all but spitting up blood and teeth. It’s what all this would really look like, or as close as we’re likely to ever actually see unless someone does go and actually become a superhero. The film is brutally violent at times, but the comedy, the great characters, and the strong undercurrent of hope and idealism in the film completely mitigate and balance that. The microwave scene (best completely horrible joke scene of the year; it will be very hard to top, especially the reaction of the goombah on the far right side of the screen) and/or anything with Hit-Girl will probably get the most complaints for the Conservatives in the world, along with all the sex jokes.

There’s some unevenness in the acting, but that’s really my only sole complaint. Nicolas Cage is Nicolas Cage, and to me at least he can sometimes seem to veer far off the rails in performances, but that’s what I love about him. My wife unfortunately absolutely doesn’t like him as an actor because of this and thinks you get Nicolas Cage too much in films. She had no complaints about him in KICK-ASS, and by her rating that’s like forcefully shoving an Academy Award into his hands for playing Big Daddy in KICK-ASS. Seriously. I thought he was great. Chloe Moretz gets ALL the best lines, and the sheer madness of her spouting things like “Let’s see what you cunts can do now” and “Show’s over, motherfuckers!” is endlessly surreal paired with her adorable “Look what I did!” expressions when she’s sending body parts and viscera flying. For a little kid, she’s actually got some chops. The pacing, editing, soundtrack and structure of the film were perfect. It grabs onto your typical modern film ADD-riddled mind and just keeps shoving you forward in a very good way. The film visually was gorgeous.

I adored the last film Matthew Vaughn and Ben Davis did, Stardust, and I admit I like that film even a bit better than Neil Gaiman and Charles Vess’s book that it was based off of. I think KICK-ASS is a better film.

I’d summarize my review by the first thing I said the minute the credits popped up: “Yeah, we need this on Blu-Ray,” to which my wife said, “Are you fucking kidding? Hell yes.” It’ll be either a Zombieland+ level hit or a cult classic. I’m not sure which.

From my friend Andy K. on twitter:

Bear with me: Captain Kirk had an older brother, George Sam Kirk. In the new movie, Kirk has no older brother. He’s the first born.(1)

Simple: The altered timeline resulted in a scenario by which the Kirks named their firstborn James Tiberius Kirk instead of George Sam Kirk.(2)

As such, I submit to you the film’s James T. Kirk is in fact GEORGE SAM KIRK. The true Jim Kirk will NEVER BE BORN.(3)

William Shatner played George Kirk, James’s brother, in his only on-screen appearance. It’s therefore totally reasonable to assume that older Spock Prime would have mistook the younger once-George for unborn James. Sure will be a mindfuck for now-James when and if Spock Prime ever tells him the truth.

Will angry nerds burn a J.J. Abrams effigy in front of the Paramount backlot now?

Click here to Digg this and spread the gospel of the False Kirk According To Andy.

UPDATE: Apparently that little kid that young “James” drives by in the stolen car in the beginning of the film–according to the original script–was supposed to be George Kirk. According to IMDB, there is no George Kirk in Star Trek beyond the very dead one that fathered False James. Director’s cuts don’t count in my book.

For those that want a very in-depth review from someone who simply gets both film AND comics.

We got to see Watchmen tonight thanks to the magic of a pair of free passes. Right off, no spoilers.

It’s the most faithful comic book adaptation I’ve ever seen, and the best adaptation overall. It works as an adaptation, and most importantly it works as a film. There are some entire scenes and sequences that are recreated almost literally from the books–in gorgeous detail–and some that are tweaked just enough with judicious cuts and adjustments that they work perfectly for the film.

Are there flaws? Probably, but I didn’t see them, and I was dissecting the film as I watched it. I’ve read Watchmen end to end on a scale of dozens of times, and read the odd chapter or page more times in the past 20+ years than I can imagine; I’ve had a copy of the trade in the house non-stop since forever.

The casting is perfect. If I had to pick any nits, and this is how far I have to dig, it’s that in some shots and angles something felt ‘off’ about Sally’s old-age makeup (typically on some early shots of her straight ahead, right in her face) and especially that in a few close-ups of her hands, they didn’t look old enough–but they screw that detail up in every film with aged younger actors. The actor playing Rorschach was the best bit of the film, to me, overall; Andi thinks the famous end of the Mars conversation was the best–she cried there. All of the Doctor Manhattan CGI was fantastic. Yes, there was the odd shot where you would say, “Yarp, that’s CGI,” aside from the fact he’s blue, clearly made of energy rather than flesh, and is literally glowing bright blue.

I really don’t know what else to say. Is it the best film ever made? I don’t think it’s a Lawrence of Arabia. It’s head and shoulders better than The Dark Knight. Go see it.

I said to Andi on the bus on the way home, “This film, together with Dark Knight, and the crazy grosses of all the Spider-Man films completely validates this art form we’ve all been passionate about so long as a mainstream art form.” That is NOT to take anything from sequential art–comics–which stands on it’s own, but fuck: if this is the end result of a comic book, then anything is possible artistically. Watchmen is LITERALLY in vast stretches a comic book come to true life.

Frankly, I loved it.

Already all over Facebook and Twitter, but too funny to not post again…

Via Warren Ellis, you should read this. Warning: some comic, television, and Quantum of Solace/Bond spoilers.

What the Hell? Talk about missing your target audience…

The Shining:

Sleepless In Seattle:

The Lion King:

Return of the King:

Pee Wee’s Big Adventure:

Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory:

I love the hell out of the Iron Man film. It’s lean, it’s well done, and it’s just one hell of a great action film. I especially love Terence Howard as Rhodey, which was a great surprise. But he’s been replaced by Don Cheadle for Iron Man 2. I’d heard it was a financial replacement, but this is just odd:

It didn’t help that, according to one source, Favreau and his producers were ultimately unhappy with Howard’s performance, and spent a lot of time cutting and reshooting his scenes. (Favreau could not be reached for comment, while Howard’s publicist says: ”Terrence had a tremendous experience working on Iron Man.”)

As such, when Favreau and screenwriter Justin Theroux went to map out the sequel they found themselves minimizing Howard’s story line. Once Marvel learned that Favreau was thinking of curtailing the role, the studio went to the actor’s agents with a new and drastically reduced offer — a number that’s similar to what supporting cast members were paid for the first movie.

I would never have guessed such a thing–I thought Howard was great in the first one.

This is probably one of the greatest inventions ever. Netflix, if you have an account, lets you watch films on-demand. I’m watching Bad Boys right now. Why? Because I can. I love it.

The nice Beta Society people made a local slasher flick! Premieres tomorrow! Buy tickets! See the trailer and cover your junk!

(trailer is NSFW!)

They are also showing and Mystery Science Theatering the Friday the 13th where Corey Feldman kills Jason at the premiere, at the Market Theatre, Wednesday, October 29, 2008 8:00 PM.

UPDATE AND REVIEW, 10/30/08: We saw Junkbucket last night at the Market Theatre. Like Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, it tells a simple, yet inspirational story. Junkbucket is an ultimately uplifting tale–it cuts to the literal boner of human emotion, and the simple need we all share and long to offer to our fellow people: that we are all, in the end, the same, and that we can all effect positive change on each other. The film additionally offered gentle, tender slasher film “kills”, which were handled with a loving, humane, and lingering attention to detail, and a positive and affirming respect for human life. The ultimate message I took away, from Junkbucket, was that human life is a special, and curious thing. Except when Junkbucket cuts off your motherfucking junk, in which case you’re just fucked.

Thanks to Elizabeth for this–I’d forgotten about a couple of these. But leave Labrynth alone, damn it! I mean… it has David Bowie’s magic pants:

I love the first two Underworld films–gloriously over the top, a pretty decent story, lots of Matrix-y special effects… and honestly, vampires versus werewolves set to a pretty good soundtrack. Whats not to like? If you’ve seen them, you need to see the trailer for the third Underworld, a prequel set in the past, for how the “war” from the first two movies came to be:

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans trailer

If you’ve never seen the first two films, ahoy–epic spoilers abound. Since about every character from the first two films is immortal, they need a really, really nice job of apparently bringing back every single actor from the first films. And no–that girl that looks like Kate Beckinsale is NOT Kate Beckinsale’s character, but is supposed to look like her. That’s another huge spoileriffic bit. I think this third film is set a couple hundred years before Beckinsale’s character from the first films was even born yet.

And, yeah, this one. Opens Friday the 13th, February 2009. I’m so there:

Friday The 13th

No spoilers. Just back from an IMAX advance screening.

It is the best superhero film ever made. It is one of the best films I have ever seen.

The Watchmen trailer that preceded Dark Knight actually made me tear up by the end.

Spread the word.

I’d been curious to see the new Rambo film (stop laughing, please) out of a sense of nostalgic curiosity. This review on Variety, though, made me change my mind. Its simply a depressing review of what sounds like an unhappy film, with limited plot and running time to boot. Not that the originals were shiny happy films, but at least there was something to them. This sounds just bland.

Go see it. Definitely worth a matinee.

“Everything is going according to plan.”

Oh yes, indeed. That looks fantastic!

Is it 2008, yet? Please? Pretty please? Stop motion animation!

They announced a Tron sequel!

* Stardust
* Sunshine
* The Bourne Ultimatum
* Harry Potter again (why not!)
* Rob Zombie’s remake of Halloween
* That Queen Latifah voices the “Where’s mah bukket?” movie

What else should I see thats out now or imminent to be released?